I wrote in last week’s article that I need a support structure to get myself to write consistently.  

I’ve written previously that I have a support structure to get me to meditate consistently. 

In Theory, it seems like Mindfulness alone should enable me to behave the way I want to.

Let’s take for example this topic of writing.  I would be clear about this intention- have a picture in my mind of the desired behavior- say, sitting at my desk with laptop in front of me, Microsoft Word open, typing happily away.  It might be that other thoughts arise, talking to myself “Oh, it’s too late right now, and besides, you don’t know what to write about.” This could be accompanied by feelings of fatigue and sadness.  Or “You can’t- It’s going to rain later and you need to mow the lawn right now!”  Followed by feelings of anxiety/urgency.  Or thoughts might arise like “Watch a movie.  Play some video games.  Rest, you deserve it.” Which might be followed by (momentarily) happier feelings.

When I’m REALLY mindful, I experience these thoughts and feelings without resistance, and without suffering.  Without causing suffering, the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions wouldn’t have the power to stop me from my intention, and the pleasant thoughts and emotions wouldn’t have the power to seduce me from my intention.

Unfortunately, the subtle thoughts and emotions involved here are incredibly powerful! 

I remember the first time I broke through the experience of physical pain at a retreat.  Ever since that time, I’ve been pretty able to access the ability to experience physical pain without suffering.  I regularly test myself on this when I go on retreat with a group of my long-time students.  Each time, and most recently on a windy, cold, rainy, November morning, I wade out and swim in the frigid waters of Long Island Sound.  Each time, it’s fun!  It’s liberating to experience something like this without it causing suffering!

The subtle thoughts and emotions around behavior change are more challenging.

My root mindfulness teacher, Shinzen Young, talked about his initiation as a Shingon monk on Mount Koya in Japan.  He spent 100 days in isolation in winter, dressed only in his robes, three times a day ladling cold water over his head as a purification practice.  After three days of this he had a realization. He said to himself, in effect:  “I can either go back home in disgrace (having quit the monastery and his academic mission aside), I can spend the next 97 days in abject misery, or to the best of my ability I can be mindful every moment of each day.”  He chose the third option, and came through the experience profoundly changed for the better.

I wrote in my last article that he couldn’t get himself to write either, and he had a huge book deal already!

I will say it again!  Subtle thoughts and emotions around behavior change are surprisingly challenging- even for a very experienced meditator.

Now, this isn’t to say that mindfulness isn’t helpful for behavior change.  It most definitely is!  Every day, the way that I behave and interact with others (and how I talk to myself, for that matter) is more joyful and effective as a result of my regular mindfulness practice! 

But modern life is fast, frenetic, and confusing.  Use whatever works!  It’s not a cop-out to ask for help, it’s wise.  And in many cases, lifesaving.

One situation where Shinzen highly recommends a Behaviorally-Oriented Support and Accountability Structure is for dealing with substance abuse or other addictive behaviors.  Counseling, 12-Step Programs, or other support groups such as Refuge Recovery are examples. 

I believe that mindfulness practice can make these supports more effective, but I don’t believe that mindfulness practice can substitute for them.  Mindfulness practice is wonderful.  Mindfulness practice is powerful.  Mindfulness is liberating.

But mindfulness alone is not enough.

It’s OK though!  If we’ve got the ability to honestly recognize our limitations, to ask for the help we need, and do what we can to the best of our ability- everything’s going to be alright!