A few people have asked me recently about gratitude practice.

I have a little notebook on my dresser, and every night I write down five things that I was grateful for that day.  I learned about that particular practice from Tal Ben-Shahar, author of Happier.  He referenced a study where researchers took three groups of people and had them keep weekly journals, assigning the 1st group the task of writing down up to 5 things that were a hassle, the 2nd group the task of writing down up to 5 things that had some effect on them, and the 3rd group the task of writing down 5 things that they were grateful for.  The conclusion was that people in the gratitude journal group had significantly higher parameters of happiness and well-being.  Tal Ben-Shahar said that as a result of this study he made a gratitude journal part of his daily routine, and that he found it useful, so I figured why not try it myself?

In addition to this quick nightly journal, I do some more intensive gratitude practices from time to time.  One day not too long ago I found myself in a really rotten mood (I can't even remember why now), and in an effort to get out of it I went for a walk while mentally Counting my Blessings- listing anything and everything I was grateful for.  Of course, when I started my walk, I didn't FEEL grateful for anything, but I remembered a Tony Robbins talk where he gave a really useful work-around.  To Paraphrase: "What are you grateful for? -Nothing!!  Well, what could you be grateful for, if you wanted to be grateful?"  With that in mind- "Well, I guess I'm grateful for my health.  I'm grateful for legs so I can go on this walk.  I'm grateful for my shoes.  I'm grateful for this sidewalk..."  It took awhile, but eventually I actually felt grateful for the blessings I was counting, and I wasn't so grumpy anymore. 

Sometimes I'll sit and do a gratitude meditation, getting myself still and concentrated and mentally listing and visualizing the things I'm grateful for, and really focusing on the tangible sensations of appreciation in the body.

Expressing gratitude is an amazing fulfilling practice; a couple of years ago our family started a Thanksgiving tradition of sending thank you letters to people we’re grateful for!  Teachers who’ve made a positive difference in my or my children’s lives, businesses that delivered great service, friends for their love and support. 

So, how might practices like keeping a gratitude journal or counting blessings or doing a formal gratitude practice relate to Mindfulness Practice?  Very importantly, it turns out.

One of the main "goals" (the word goal is misleading, because paradoxically it is entirely true that there is no goal of mindfulness practice whatsoever) of mindfulness is to help a person transcend the small sense of self.  That sounds really mystical, but it's actually not that complicated.  When we practice mindfulness we pay attention to our minds and bodies.  We become aware of the arising and passing of thoughts and body sensations.  We eventually notice that the awareness of these thoughts and body sensations is something else entirely.  And, sooner or later, we start to become free from the "prison of self" that would claim unconditionally that "I AM my mind and body."   When this happens- it's Wonderful!  Liberating! What a relief!

And yet...

What about this incarnation- this mind and body and this life we've been born into?  What about being human?  What about relationships?

I've heard a few analogies about this- the two most classic ones being that it's like two wings of a bird, or two wheels of a cart.  If one wing were larger than the other, the bird wouldn't be able to fly.  If one wheel of a cart was bigger than the other, it would just go around in circles.  

For our practice to be complete, on the one hand we need to practice to become free from our limited human identity, and on the other hand we need to practice to express our humanity fully!  And to that end, it's important to balance insight/wisdom/mindfulness practices with love/kindness/compassion practices.